By Carolina Amore
Experiences
Carolina Amore
The concept of acceptance can be terrifying to some and serene to others. There is no right or wrong way to find acceptance; there is only what feels suitable for you in the present moment.
Psychological acceptance is the active embracing of subjective experience – particularly distressing experiences. The idea is not tolerance or mindlessness, but to embrace each moment and emotion without defense.
This process is much easier said than done, but that does not mean it is impossible; it will look different to each person who experiences it.
For some, the journey to embracing the present moment may look like completely eradicating the experience from their lives. It may present as self-care, new activities, or new friends.
For others, this path may take them elsewhere. They may be comfortable taking each moment as it arrives for only a portion of the day and allowing themselves to grieve for what remains.
Acceptance is only mandatory for those who no longer wish to suffer. That is not to say there will be no struggle or pain, but the act of resisting those emotions or even rejecting them results in nearly constant suffering.
Typically, people often dislike what they are accepting. It is not something you always choose or even want, but you must choose to make space for what you are experiencing. It is crucial to love yourself enough by permitting yourself to feel.
If someone faces a hardship that has drastically changed their lives, they have several distractions available to enable the process of rejecting negative emotions. Some may choose to drink or use drugs to numb their pain.
Others may throw themselves into a relationship and obsess over one person so they can avoid assessing their own life.
There are endless ways to avoid pain, but there is only one way to move forward: to feel every moment of it.
When focusing on the end goal of acceptance, remember that it does not have to mean what you are accepting will stay that way forever. Some experiences are more permanent than others, but people change, perspectives shift and we constantly evolve.
Before jumping into a new perspective or trying new ways to find acceptance, ask yourself what kind of life you want. What would it look like if every aspect of your life was working in your favor?
Upon finding your answer, subtract the elements that are no longer in your control, and imagine a future that creates a sense of contentment. We have a habit of searching for instant gratification.
If we stop contemplating the parts of our lives that we no longer control and come to terms with the fact that we never could prevent them in the first place, it may make the road to accepting the entire scope of the experience less daunting.
To accept is to allow yourself to experience without rejection. Allow one moment to happen at a time, and one day you may find a bit more peace.