By Don Wetmore
Time Management
Don Wetmore
Communication is speaking, being heard and understood and then getting the response you want. Without getting the response you want from your listeners you have not communicated, and your speaking was not productive.
When we communicate with a group, our goal should always be to build bridges, not walls. The wrong opening phrases can unintentionally divide your audience into “insiders” and “outsiders.”
Instead of prefaces that alienate, start with inclusive language that invites everyone in. Phrases such as, “Let me share something important with you,” or “Here’s an idea we can explore together,” signal that you value the presence of each listener and want them engaged.
A lot of that response is not achieved because we fail to speak productively. We sometimes speak assumptively, turning off our listeners.
Here are three ways to quickly turn your listeners off and not get the responses you seek from speaking in the first place.
“As you know….” Unless you know for sure that I know, do not tell me what I know because if I do not know, I feel uninformed. I failed somewhere along the way to know what you thought I should have known. Why didn’t I get to know what I should have known?
“As many of you know….” If I am not one of the many, the few in the know, I feel marginalized because you are just talking to those many and few who know, which does not include me. I am left out. I am not a part of that exclusive club.
“As most of you know….” Now that is a real self-esteem downer. If I’m not in the know, and most around me are, I feel I really messed up because most know it and I don’t. You assumed I did, so not only do I not know it, I disappointed your expectations for me. How could I have gone so wrong?
Rid your vocabulary of these three prefaces. Get to your point instead. Speak more productively.
And while we are at it, let us all eliminate, “And without further ado,” because to say that creates further ado.
Don Wetmore is a certified business coach and the author of “The Productivity Handbook” and “Organizing Your Life.” Contact him at 203-394-8216 or ctsem@msn.com.