Many people, as they grow older, begin to consider whether they are living in the right place for the remaining years of their lives. Perhaps one has lost a spouse and the children have all moved away years ago to start their own lives. Maybe both spouses are still living, but consideration begins to be given to the kind of living situation and location which will be best for the remaining spouse when one of the partners passes on. It is a topic that we all need to give some thought to as we grow older.
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I know couples who don’t want to budge from the home they have loved, but know they may regret staying longer than their health will allow. More than 60 percent of Americans over the age of 80 have lived in the same place for 20 years or more. So it is not surprising that it is difficult to start thinking that perhaps we should be reevaluating and planning where we want to spend the rest of our lives.
Many couples admit that they find it exhausting to pull up stakes so late in life, but I heard a positive benefit from one couple who recently “downsized” to a smaller place to live. They said they thought the change created by the move was ultimately very good for the brain. “It’s good to make changes,” they said, “to blow the dust off.” Just cleaning out and getting rid of “life’s accumulations” can be an exhilarating and freeing experience. We should not leave this task to our children.
The spacious home that seemed so perfect in our 60’s can start feeling more like a burden a decade later. Much thought and meticulous questioning often go into decisions to downsize. Many options exist today for those who choose to simplify their lives in advance of any loss or decline. There are life-care communities which offer independent living and the possibility of assisted-living or nursing care if the need arise. These often require an outlay of admission fees. There are active adult communities for persons 55 years of age and older, independent condos and rental apartments. And of course, there are smaller homes.
One of the main considerations for some older couples is the idea of one of them being alone someday. Since women generally outlive men, they often can be the one left to face daunting responsibilities for the care of a home. As we age, the challenges of home maintenance and the difficulties performing routine household tasks, can, at some point, be overwhelming. Active Adult Communities, condo associations, and some other communities are mostly maintenance free and offer social activities that can be very helpful in the case of one losing their spouse. There is a built-in support group, so to speak. Rental apartments are also maintenance free, but can often be isolating in that there are no planned activities or communication among residents.
When and if downsizing should be considered is not an easy decision, but one that should not be put off until something happens or one’s health deteriorates and you must make a decision. Planning and exploration are always good things. There are Senior Relocation Specialists who can help with every aspect of a move from guiding the selection of a home to decluttering and managing a move. They charge hourly fees and can be found through the National Association of Senior Move Managers.