I can’t help but reflect about how fortunate I am to have had the parents I did. They both had difficult early lives but learned from their difficulties rather than become bitter and resentful about life. {{more}}My mother was the one who drove me nuts as a kid by responding to all my troubles with her one liner: “It was meant to be. God is redirecting you. Something good will come of this.” After I heard that I would go to my bedroom close the door, so no one would think I was nuts, and start talking to God. Ultimately I realized that I don’t know the future so relax and see where this leads you. My mother proved to be right many times over.
She also taught me to pay attention to my feelings and listen to my heart when making decisions. Her one liber for that one, which I also didn’t appreciate when I was looking for help in making an important decision was; “Do what will make you happy.” I learned many years later that her parents did not think much of my Dad, the guy she decided to marry. Sure enough after the wedding he lost his job but rather than let her parents know they were correct he would dress up and leave the house every morning as if he were going to work and spend the day in the unemployment office.
One day the phone rings and my Dad said to my Mom, “Rose I have two job offers one is government and secure but I won’t go anywhere. The other is private and insecure but I could go somewhere. Which should I take?” her response, “Do what will make you happy.” He did and ended up as a top executive at Paramount Theatres and ABC. It was a lot of fun for all of us plus free tickets to many movie theatres.
My Dad’s life was difficult because his father died at a young age of tuberculosis. He learned the hard way that material things were to make it a better world and an easier life for people. He was a gentle soul who never spanked or punished anyone physically and yet my Mom’s way of disciplining me was to say, “If you don’t stop that I will tell your father when he gets home.” Now to the point: Our neighbor’s son, and my friend, had a toy I wanted. I was very jealous of him and when no one responded to the fact that I wanted one of what he had the next time we were playing together I broke his toy. My parents heard about it and said nothing.
The next day while I was in the front yard my father came home from work. He handed me a box containing the toy I had broken, said, “I know you wanted one of these.” and went into the house. I knew I could keep the toy but I also knew the right thing was to give it to our neighbor’s son. I sat there thinking until it felt like my head would explode and then I got up and did the right thing. I gave it to my friend and healed our wounds. My father was like that; quiet but powerful in his own way. He helped lots of people and made a difference.
Peace, Love & Healing
Bernie Siegel, M.D.
You make a difference.
We currently have a mind, heart and health matters support group for those in need and for caregivers who need support the first Wednesday evening of every month and a cancer support group the second and fourth Tuesday evenings of the month at Coachman’s Square on Bradley Road, Woodbridge. If interested contact Lucille Ranciato lranciato@yahoo.com 203 288 2839; or myself bugsyssiegel@sbcglobal.net for details
Also July 31 I will have evening class at Amity High School contact Karen Wade at Karen.Wade@reg5.k12.ct.us