By Susan Oderwald
Senior Life
Susan Oderwald
Seniors in our community are at higher risk for isolation and loneliness than other segments of the population. There are several issues related to aging that increases this risk, including being able to drive less, losing close friends and relatives, hearing loss and other common problems.
Just because someone lives alone does not necessarily mean they are lonely. But isolation can increase disconnectedness and the risk of loneliness. Warning signs may include things like engaging in surface level interactions rather than deep, meaningful conversations; becoming overly invested in inanimate objects instead of relationships with people; ruminating on negative experiences; or gaining weight due to self-soothing with food.
Isolation and loneliness should not be discounted as an inconvenience or minor problem. It can lead to depression, sleep disruptions, substance misuse and heart disease. Any adult experiencing loneliness needs support and encouragement to find ways to better cope with living alone.
Whether dealing with a family member, friend or neighbor, there are several ways we can all help those in our community who are isolated.
First, it is important to really engage with people when you see them. Don’t just make a quick call or drop off groceries. Instead plan on spending some extra time to ask how they are doing and interact with them. Encourage them to pursue interests or activities that they enjoy, including helping them see ways to mitigate barriers.
For example, many people who give up driving are suddenly homebound and feel awkward asking for rides to places. See if you can arrange or teach them how to use Uber or other ride services to keep up with visits to the senior center or gym. The cost of a couple of local Uber rides each week pales in comparison to the cost of owning and driving a car.
If your loved one is not nearby, engage technology to help keep in touch. Older adults are more than capable of learning new technologies unless they are hampered by dementia. Frankly, phone calls are often enough to help someone remain connected and feel cared for.
Many older people are very active on social media and are able to pursue all types of connections and interests online. My own mother, 87, is all over Zoom, YouTube and other online venues keeping up with her many clubs and interests – especially during COVID. My main role is helping her keep her computer running and troubleshooting any technical issues she has with things like logins. She has a rich social life online.
If living alone is just not working and you see depression and decline, look into other living arrangements. Many move mom or dad in with them to join in their family life. Others have that 20-something grandchild move in with their grandparent. Many find good social interaction when they downsize to a socially outgoing condo or apartment complex.
Bringing in outside caregivers can also offer a routine outlet for socialization, and assisted living communities provide both security and socialization as part of their value proposition.
The most important thing is not to ignore the toll loneliness may be taking on someone you know.
Susan Oderwald is care director at the Always Best Care Senior Services Milford Office. She can be reached at Soderwald@abc-seniors.com or 203-877-1377.