By Theresa Rose DeGray
Bankruptcy/Divorce
Theresa Rose DeGray
A few of my friends lost their moms recently. I lost mine almost three years ago now. It got me thinking about her and some of the things she taught me.
She told me to make banana bread with bad bananas (they are sweeter), to put a pinch of sugar in my tomato sauce (to cut the acid) and how to make the best Portuguese kale soup (even though she was Polish).
Beyond her domestic guidance, she taught me many life lessons, not just with her words but through her actions. The one thing that stands out the most is how she taught me to advocate for myself and for others. She was a registered nurse, but she did many things that involved the law. I think that is why I wanted to be a lawyer. She brought me everywhere she went, so I saw firsthand her picketing with fellow nursing home workers on strike or going to labor negations with her union. She was my aunt’s conservator and helped my special-needs brother though all the red tape of getting Title XIX. She would also stand up for me around any school issues or health issues I had (as I have lupus).
She would always remind me that we have rights, like patients’ rights in a hospital setting. She would tell me that one should always give their own child the benefit of the doubt in any situation. She was constantly looking out for everyone’s best interest and fighting for her rights and the rights of others. My mother was truly a saint on earth, and now she is an angel in heaven.
I use the lessons she taught me by her words and actions on a daily basis in my own career as a lawyer and as a zealous advocate for my clients.
When I work on cases involving children, there is one standard we must adhere to: what is in “the best interest of the minor child(ren).” The Connecticut Supreme Court, in the 1997 case of Schult v. Schult, called it the “guiding principle.”
Sometimes when parties are involved in litigation (whether it be custody actions and/or divorce cases), other professionals get involved such as guardians ad litem and attorneys for the minor child(ren).
In short, guardians ad litem are appointed by the court to assist parties in “resolving parenting disputes” per the Connecticut Judicial Branch by investigating situations and offering objective recommendations to the court as to what is in the best interest of the minor children involved in the case.
Attorneys for the minor children actually represent the minor child and advocate for the child’s opinion and position in the case.
If the families can’t afford guardians ad litem, or if for any other reason one is not appointed, the case may be referred to the Family Services Department of the judicial branch for evaluations and studies.
Some of the specific programs they offer are custody and visitation mediations, general or intensive case management services and issue-focused or comprehensive evaluations.
All in all, whether the case has these professional advocates involved or the parties go through one of these studies, the parties must either reach an agreement or have a trial to resolve their case. In either scenario, the judge would review the agreement and make it an order of the court, or issue a decision, based on the best interest of the minor child standard.
We most often see this standard used in custody determinations, but it will also be used in relocation cases, adoptions and guardianship matters.
The Connecticut General Statutes provide several enumerated factors which the court must contemplate when determining the best interest of the minor child. Among the factors are considerations such as the physical and emotional safety of the child, the ability of each parent to understand and meet the needs of the child and be actively involved in the child’s life, maintaining continuity and stability, the parties’ mental and physical health, each party’s willingness to foster the parent-child relationship with the other party and whether they satisfactorily completed a parenting education program.
According to another publication from the judicial branch, the parenting education program is “designed to educate adults about the many issues children face when their family situation changes.” It also provides “information about children’s developmental stages, helping children adjust to parent separation, cooperative parenting, conflict management and dispute resolution techniques.”
The classes cost $150, take six hours to complete, are provided virtually or in person throughout the state and are offered in English and Spanish. Most of my clients enjoy the classes and feel that they help to give them new perspectives on parenting and co-parenting.
If you are going through issues with custody or visitation, please seek legal counsel so you can be informed of your rights and advocate for yourself and your child.
Attorney Theresa Rose DeGray is the owner of Consumer Legal Services, LLC, a debt relief agency in Orange helping people file for bankruptcy relief under the bankruptcy code, among other legal services such as divorce and mediation.