By Ellen Russell Beatty
Ponder This
Ellen Russell Beatty
Long ago, my wise elder sister created a family code of behavior for her large, merry and boisterous group of children. Known fondly as Not Table Talk, this invisible code discouraged all conversation not suitable for the dinner table.
All family members, including the younger school-aged children, understood intuitively just what was permitted or frowned upon. It was not necessary to spell out explicitly that bodily parts and functions were best left to private giggling sessions. All understood that the dinner table left little room for obnoxious, loud or mean behavior toward one another. No one felt restricted or restrained; there was simply an expectation and appreciation of appropriate table behavior that made family interactions both pleasant and enjoyable for all.
Apparently, no such code of decorum exists for our 47th president. I suggest that we initiate a category of “Not Presidental Talk” for the current occupier of the commander in chief position.
I share David Brooks’s experience of being nauseated at the spectacle in the Oval Office in which President Donald Trump and Vice President JD Vance verbally attacked Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy, an invited statesman. Many elected officials have spoken out with grave concern for the despicable exchange intended to humiliate and berate a leader of an allied country. This example of inappropriate, crude, mean discourse seems to have become part and parcel of presidential exchange and must be disallowed.
Zelenskyy, despite not being a native English speaker, understands the nuance of specific words within the challenging context of English idioms, unique rules and specific meanings. The appalling reference to the war in Ukraine as a bad hand of cards and/or lousy deal did not fit the situation. War-weary for his country and his people, Zelenskyy understands that destructive weaponry, hunger, injury, death and accompanying terrorized civilians cannot be described as a bad hand. A peace treaty between nations is not merely a deal and the use of the term by the US president diminishes the intent of a binding contract between nations.
A poor hand in cards is a random occurrence. The war in Ukraine is a deliberate action of aggression by a determined and ruthless foe, and a breach of a negotiated peace treaty. A treaty between nations is not merely a deal, and the use of the misnomer insults the professional repertoire of skillful diplomacy required for the execution of challenging treaty negotiations.
Zelenskyy recognized this vulgarity and provided the perfect reply: “I did not come here to play cards.”
This statement will be recorded in history as a poignant, insightful and appropriate reaction to the moment. His response served as a necessary and dignified correction to those involved in the discussion.
Our collective reaction must be swift, strong and steadfast in response. But Democrats must not stoop to the level of rhetoric that indicates that there are few functioning adults in the room. The message must indicate vehemently that it is forboden to stand in the well of the sacred chamber of Congress and berate a predecessor by name. It is entirely unacceptable to call out members who disagree with pejorative nicknames or to question why there is not sufficient applause from the audience.
America, we can do this. The ship must be righted. Democracy is not a deal to be bartered and squandered to meet one’s own needs. Democracy is a grand philosophy based on principles of justice, freedom, autonomy and humane treatment of one another. A democracy is steered by the people according to guiding principles that form a framework for functioning action.
One need not acknowledge the role of Russia as aggressor to demand decorum and stately conduct from the Oval Office. Everyone, of all political persuasion, should be offended by the spectacle of blame, bullying and mockery of all those in disagreement. This is unbecoming for governmental leadership – especially that of the free world.
World leaders have noticed, and they are not in accord with the stated words nor actions from the US. As citizens of the most influential country on Earth we tolerate such ideas and the risky associated actions with these incendiary ideas at our own peril.
Dr. Ellen Russell Beatty is in her fifth term on the Milford Board of Aldermen. She served seven years as Associate Vice President of Academic Affairs at Southern Connecticut State University, and also served as interim Academic Vice president, Dean of Health & Human Services and Director of Faculty Development. In addition to the broad perspective and a multitude of skills required of high-level administrators, her areas of special expertise lie in strategic planning, accreditation, assessment and planning and budgetary allocation.