By Jennifer Ju
Facing Ourselves
Spanning 1.7 miles, nets made of stainless-steel mesh, built to withstand harsh attacks from saltwater and gusts of winds, flank the Golden Gate Bridge. These suicide prevention nets, built along the length of the bridge, are a labor of love that have been almost a decade in the making, overcoming construction delays and objections from those who resisted alterations to this famous structure. Finally completed on Jan. 1, these nets, placed 20 feet underneath the bridge, are visible to those standing by the rails and serve as a visual and physical deterrent for people contemplating suicide.
For those who still jump, the nets decrease the likelihood of death, although due to the hard and inflexible nature of the mesh, people may still sustain painful injuries. Modeled after other suicide nets built around the world, such as in Switzerland, the Golden Gate Bridge suicide prevention nets have already reportedly reduced the number of jumpers by more than 50 percent in 2023 while under construction.
Human deterrents have also been set up in the form of bridge patrols, who scan for and try to prevent people from taking their own lives, resulting in almost 150 saved lives last year. In addition, firefighters and bridge workers have received training on how to rescue those who have jumped into the nets.
The monumental undertaking of this project was made possible through extensive efforts of families who lost members to suicide at the Golden Gate Bridge. They say that the presence of these nets would have saved their loved ones. Many survivors who have attempted suicide at the Golden Gate Bridge also later say they regretted their decision the moment they took the leap. Others cite studies which report that a majority of those who have survived a suicide attempt do not try to take their lives again, pointing out that deterrents like the nets are important in the fight to save lives.
Although these physical nets can save lives, what other kinds of nets can we build as a society? Data shows the crumbling of social networks has led to an unprecedented epidemic of loneliness and a sense of disconnection. Unsurprisingly, the rates of depression and anxiety in all age groups have soared to levels never seen before. Plans to build more parks and other public spaces that encourage people to gather are often delayed by bureaucratic red tape or cost. The work to reduce the stigma around mental health has begun, but many still report suffering in silence or hiding behind images of perfectly curated social media posts.
Access to affordable mental health services remains elusive to many, as more mental health providers elect to not participate in health insurance plans, citing low reimbursement rates for the challenging work they provide. Oftentimes, calls to mental health providers are met with advice to call 911 if it is a true emergency. If individuals do seek urgent services, some face first responders who are sub-optimally trained in mental health and who inadvertently escalate rather than de-escalate the situation, sometimes with disastrous and tragic results.
Others who are greatly suffering yet do not meet the insurance criteria for hospital admission are often discharged from the emergency room with instructions to seek outpatient services which had been unattainable in the first place. Even if accessible mental health services are found, the wait times are often weeks to months, and many report they do not have the job flexibility to attend appointments weekly or biweekly, nor can they afford the copay or out-of- network costs.
More work needs to be done to build proactive, not just reactive, nets in which mental health services are truly affordable and accessible, and to work with employers and legislators to ensure those seeking help are given the time to pursue it. In addition, a cultural shift is needed to really believe and embrace that mental health is no different than physical health and to reduce the barriers we build around discussing and seeking treatment for it.
There are also nets we can offer others, at a one-on-one level. We can put down our phones and be truly present so we don’t miss the subtle signs of struggle, such as noticing a loved one’s gradual withdrawal from others or hobbies they once enjoyed. Instead of saying, “If you need anything, call me, I’m here,” we can recognize that for those in the throes of depression and anxiety, they feel as though they are in a cold, dark, bottomless ditch, trying to dig themselves out, teaspoon by teaspoon, and may be too physically and emotionally exhausted to have the wherewithal to reach out. We can work with our own discomfort when we witness another’s struggle and ask them what they need most in the moment, whether it’s to be heard, hugged or helped.
There are nets we can build for ourselves, where we can seek shelter until we can ride out the waves of despair or overwhelming sense of hopelessness and helplessness. Emotion is based on the Latin word ēmoveō, which means to move. When we feel overwhelmed with depression and anxiety, we forget that these emotions are not permanent, but rather ebb and flow. We lose sight that our emotions change; we are not stuck or trapped in a permanent state of despondency. We can remember that when we are suffering, our fight, flight or freeze system takes over, rendering the ability of our frontal lobes and other regions of the brain to help us make good decisions and think logically less effective, and making it difficult to access our wise mind.
We can move from a mindset that we are broken or “less than” and instead explore what it is like when we pursue self-improvement motivated by genuine care rather than attacking a deficiency. We can practice a different kind of self-care – one that does not resemble an endless list of to-do items that people are already too worn out to try to undertake. Rather, we can exercise the practice of self-compassion, recognizing that we all struggle, struggle is a part of life and we are connected by our shared humanity.
We can bear in mind that life is not about being perfect or avoiding failure, but rising each time we fall. We can challenge the depictions marketed to us about what makes us valuable and remember that each of us have inherent self-worth that no amount of money, acquisitions or the number on the scale can add or take away.
We can remember we all carry invisible scars, but we are not broken. We can practice perspective building and employ the power of “and,” in which we notice our struggle and at the same time can find even the smallest blessing, even if only the miracle of breathing without having to think about it. We can spend more time being in nature, which is a perpetual reminder of resiliency, weathering countless storms, ongoing climate change and ceaseless human threats.
We can work on building connections through acts of service, recognizing the multiple benefits of altruism supported by research. We can be mindful that our hedonistic pursuit of happiness is never ending, as the nature of happiness is fleeting, and perhaps instead take time to slow down, quiet the mind and listen to what our hearts tell us will bring a deeper sense of peace and joy.
We can hold space for suffering, whether in ourselves or others, and learn from it, with the belief that we are more than our emotions and that “this too shall pass.” We can recall that we belong to each other and that we are not truly alone. We can have faith that, as author Albert Camus wrote, “In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.”
As we begin this new year, let us all proactively build nets, connecting more deeply and authentically with each other, and to ourselves.