By Dennis Marsh
Orange Senior Center
Dennis Marsh
I like to walk around the senior center and say hi to the members. Invariably I hear all sorts of stories.
Sometimes their stories are about family and their problems. I have been told that their children do not speak to them. I have heard from a few that they hadn’t seen their grandchildren in years.
Hearing these stories always makes me sad. So I went online and I researched family conflicts. Google AI told me that families that have different political, social and religious views and beliefs among family members can easily lead to family conflict. Conflict occurs when people misunderstand each other and jump to the wrong conclusion. Tensions can easily escalate when the stress of life becomes abnormally high. Conflicts left unresolved can lead to resentment.
It is normal to disagree with one another from time to time. However, ongoing stress and tension can damage relationships. Communicating in a positive way can help reduce conflicts and bring about a peaceful resolution.
This may mean compromising or just agreeing to disagree. It is often a good idea to try to see the other person’s perspective. You may need to decide if the conflict is worth it. Conflict can escalate when the people involved are too angry to listen to one another. It is tough to hear when you are in full rage mode, with communication misunderstandings further fueling the argument.
One technique to deescalate conflict is to try to remain calm. Do not “own” the problems of other people. Do not speak when you feel very angry; give yourself time to calm down. Use “I” words to express your feelings and own your opinions. Really listen when others speak and do not interrupt them. Drop old issues. Leave the past in the past. Focus on today and today’s problems.
Peaceful resolution comes from negotiation, respect and listening to the other person’s perspective. Once both parties understand the views and feelings of the other, you can work out a solution together.
Fast-paced lives, endless distractions, work, children and scrolling on social media have all taken a toll on personal connections.
Licensed clinical social worker Art Gottlieb will be at the Orange Senior Center on Wednesday, Sept. 23 from 1 p.m. to 2 p.m. to present “Growing Closer: Improving Relationships with Loved Ones.” This program will discuss ways to communicate effectively with those who matter the most in a way that maximizes understanding and trust – the essential building blocks of familial and interpersonal relationships.
Call the Orange Senior Center at 203-891-4784 to reserve a seat.
Dennis Marsh is the senior services coordinator of Orange Community Services, which includes the Orange Senior Center. The center provides activities that promote independence, creativity, physical and emotional health, and lifelong learning for residents over the age of 55For more information on the Orange Senior Center call 203-891-4788, visit orange-ct.gov/783/Orange-Senior-Center or email dmarsh@orange-ct.gov.